


22nd Century Schizoid Girl

by shielingas



Category: Divergent - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Smut, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-09 22:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shielingas/pseuds/shielingas
Summary: Eddi Ward dreams of being different. Getting Dauntless as her test result means she can follow her dreams. She gets tattoos and piercings, but that's not enough, especially when she befriends Tris, who has the divergence that Eddi dreams about. It doesn't help that a certain leader is taking an interest in her. Movieverse - I might write some mature rated chapters, idk yet - (On Hiatus)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent. The book rights belong to Veronica Roth, the author of the amazing series. The film rights belong to Summit Entertainment, who gave us the motion picture of the series with Jai Courtney as Eric, who was more beautiful than any of us intended. The only things I own is Eddi and any chapters that are not in the book or movie.

Chapter 1

Dauntless

"Edith Ward!" I look up from staring at my feet. My mom grabs my hand as I stand up.

"Choose well, Edith." she nods. Sucking in a deep breath, I shuffle past the others in my faction and then step out onto the stairs. I quickly step down each one, getting closer to the white stage in the center of the room. I reach the stage and walk across it to shake hands with Jeanine Matthews, the leader of Erudite and hostess of this ceremony. She gives me a cold smile before I turn to face them. The bowls. I stare at the five white bowls in front of me. The first I look at is the one with the glass, my faction of birth, Candor. But no, to choose Candor and stay with my parents would be a lie. The next I look at is the earth, Amity. Going to Amity would be good, it would mean I could spend the rest of my days relaxing. But all the Amity do is lead the same, boring life; I want to be different. My eyes skim over the gray stones - I will not choose them for the same reason I will not choose Amity: everyone is the same and I want to be different. The next I look at is the water. In Erudite everyone gets to learn what they want, which would mean I would be different. But, I have the attention span of an excited puppy, so learning in Erudite is not an option. My eyes finally land on the coals. I got this faction as my aptitude test results, and honestly I was surprised. I lied to my parents as they had expected me to get Candor like everyone else in my family. But, in Dauntless, I can be different and independent. In Dauntless, I can be whoever the hell I like and do whatever the hell I want. So I cut my palm and squeeze my blood onto the coals. Jeanine calls out the name of my new faction.

My mother screams. Somehow, it is louder than the yells of the Dauntless, but that may be because the guilt of breaking the expectations of my family. The guilt is heart wrenching and unbearable. But I turn from her and walk over to the Dauntless. They run over to me and pull me into them. And like a rope snapping, the guilt is gone. It's replaced with something that I haven't really felt before - I think it's bravery. Good, I'll need it to survive in Dauntless.

* * *

I stand in amongst the group of Dauntless-born and transfers. I shiver in my thin, billowy Candor shirt. God, I cannot wait to get off this freezing roof, which leads to the question: why are we even on the roof of the Dauntless compound? My silent question is answered by the hot guy on the edge of the roof. Because I was Candor previously, it's quite easy to admit to myself that I like the look of him. He's very tall and muscular, making him seem quite intimidating. To add to that feel, he has large black tattoos covering his forearms and his neck. He has two black piercings above one of his eyebrows and two in his ears. He has dirty, blonde hair that's combed back neatly and shaved at the sides. His blue eyes scan over us, cold and unyielding. He may be intimidating but, fuck, he is hot. He glares us each in turn before shouting in a commanding, deep voice, "Alright, listen up. I'm Eric. I'm one of your leaders. If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in." I stand up on my tiptoes to peer over the edge. Fuck, it's a huge fricking black hole and I have to jump in it. Eric continues to tell us that we have to jump in otherwise we're not part of Dauntless and then asks us who's gonna go first. I really don't want to do it but a part of my mind tells me that the others don't want to do it and if I want to be different then I should jump first.

But then, out of the blue, "Me." The small Abnegation girl steps out timidly past the others. I look up at Eric, whose eyes twinkle with some kind of dark amusement. I envy the girl, she is the only girl in her faction to transfer to Dauntless and she will be the first jumper, making her stand out like a stick in the mud. I wanna be the stick in the mud. Peter, a guy from my old faction, makes a snide comment. I roll my eyes, he's always been like that for as long as I can remember. The girl climbs onto the edge, warily looking at the gaping hole. "Today, initiate." Eric snarls. That makes her jump. She's gone and there are no agonizing screams of pain, so it must be safe.

Eric turns his icy glare back to us, "Who's next?" I try to push myself to go next, the second jumper would also be a good reputation to have. But then a Dauntless-born takes my opportunity. Next time, I'm going to go as soon as Eric asks. The guy jumps and Eric looks over the edge, probably checking to see if it's safe. Again, he turns back to us, "Next."

"I'll go," I say, pushing past the others as soon as he's spoken. I walk up to the edge and climb up so I'm standing next to Eric. I feel his cold gaze on me as I stare into the hole. I do not linger on the edge for long, stepping forward into the thin air. I fall, unaware of what's really happening. Then my shoulder blades are digging into something uncomfortable and stretchy. I sigh deeply as I realize it's a net. I look up and can see the figure of Eric on the edge of the roof, looking down. Knowing that another initiate is coming soon, I try to get up, but I find that an impossible task on the bouncy net. But, luckily several arms grab me and pull me off the net.

I land on the floor of the Dauntless compound in front of the grumpiest man I have ever seen. "What's your name? You can pick a new one if you want."

I use the name that all my friends call me: "Eddi."

He turns to the people behind him. "Third jumper: Eddi!"

I grin widely and walk over to where the other transfer is standing. She seems quite nervous still, so I introduce myself to her. "Hi, I'm Eddi," I smile. She glances up at me, smiling a little bit now. She seems as if she's about to say something, but then pauses, the finally says, "I'm Tris." She looks down again, closing herself off.

* * *

I sit opposite one of my friends from Candor, Christina, at dinner. Next to us is Al, also from Candor, Will, from Erudite, and Tris. I got a hamburger with chips and a dessert of cake. Rumour has it that the Dauntless cake is the best. I happily munch on my hamburger as people chat around us. "So, guys, how do you like Dauntless so far?" Will asks us.

"Awesome, but the bedroom isn't really what I expected," Christina smirks, making us all laugh a little, knowing our current sleeping situation.

"I think it's cool," I add, "It seems like everyone here has their own tattoos and piercings."

"Yeah. I would like to get a tattoo. And have you seen the guys here, they are all so god-damn hot. I would love myself one of those."

Everyone laughs and then I ask, "Did you see that guy Eric on the roof? He was really hot."

"Of course we saw him, Eddi. And, yeah, he was hot but he was terrifying too. He looks like a guy who'd annihilate anyone who'd so much as walked into him."

"But, he's hot." I moan. At the end of the table, Four snorts. I furrow my eyebrows and turn to my old/new friends. They shrug their shoulders and then our conversation resumes, changing to the subject of Tris' unfamiliarity with hamburgers. I zone out of the conversation, focusing on eating my cake. Just as I've finished my food, the entire canteen bangs their cups against the tables. I look up and see a guy who must be the head leader of Dauntless. Beside him stands the other leaders, including Eric, the hot guy from the roof. He did say he was a leader, but I hadn't really thought much of it until now when he's looking down at us like we're insignificant little flies. Fuck, he's not so hot now.

"Initiates, stand," the leader, who I now recognize as Max, commands. We do and he goes on to talk about our choice to join them and their beliefs and how we are expected to follow them too. As soon as he finished talking, the entire canteen cheers and lifts us up onto their hands to carry us off somewhere. I laugh as everyone celebrates around me. But as I laugh, a well-known feeling enters the pit of my stomach. The insecurity tugs at me, making me think about how we were all addressed as initiates and not individuals. And that we're all supposed to protect the city and believe in the same things. That means I'll end up the same as everyone else, a Dauntless clone. This is exactly what I wanted to escape from.

* * *

The morning after I arrived at Dauntless, I wake up early. I do not know the time, but I can tell it is early because I think everyone in the room is in deep sleep according to the loud snores. Quietly, I sit up, pushing my dark brown hair out of my face. I climb out of my cot and stand up in the dark room. I stand there for a moment, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. I bend down and sort through the folded pile of clothes that we were given, picking out something suitable for training in. I also grab a pair of sneakers and socks. I hold them in one big bundle and as quietly as possible walk over to the bathroom section. I go to a mirror in the corner of the room and put the bundle down. I look at the mirror, noticing that there is a small strip light above it. I fumble for the switch and flick it on, hoping that it is not too bright. Thankfully, it lets out a small glow, enough for me to see but dark enough not to wake anyone. First, I get dressed and then I wash. I turn the faucet, cringing when it squeaks. But no one shows any signs of waking up. I splash my face with water and then stare at my reflection.

My hair almost appears black in this light, something which I'm probably going to have to get used to as Dauntless doesn't have much lighting. My eyes seem slightly tired, the blue-green irises small because of the little light I'm getting. My lips are thin, pressed together in a thin line. I know this look, I've seen it almost every day when I was in Candor. This is my look of insecurity, the face of a person who worries about themselves every moment of the day. I've always been worried that people will think I'm just another copy of everyone else. I think I'm boring, and I've always wanted not to be, I want to be exciting and fun. I thought coming to Dauntless would help me, but from my first impressions of this place, the worry has come back. I know that I shouldn't be worried as I haven't even been here a day, but the worry doesn't care, it always finds a way to bite at my heels.

I scrunch my eyes shut, trying to get rid of the pit at the bottom of my stomach. But, I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't. I grab onto the edge of the sink in frustration and open my eyes again. My muscles tense up as I stare at the scared reflection. I clench my jaw and grip tighter onto the sink. I'm angry, angry at myself for feeling insecure when there is no reason to. I try to push the anger down as well, but instead, it flares. Quick as a flash, I punch the mirror.

Instead of breaking it, my fist collides with the tough glass and bounces back. I recoil, bringing my fist to my chest. I stand there for a second, every feeling gone except the anger, which hasn't found its satisfaction. I stare my fist, it's already turning slightly purple. I cuss under my breath and then grab a hair elastic from my wrist and tie up my hair. I, quietly as possible, storm out of the dorms, trying to find a place that can calm me down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup dudes! This is a fic I've previously posted on FanFiction, but I thought I'd post it here too. Please leave a kudos and stuff, and if you're all lovely people, you'd leave a nice comment for me to read. Drem kos voth hi! (that means peace be with you in Dovahzul - I'm super obsessed with Skyrim right now, you can probably tell xD)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddi Ward dreams of being different. Getting Dauntless as her test result means she can follow her dreams. She gets tattoos and piercings, but that's not enough, especially when she befriends Tris, who has the divergence that Eddi dreams about. It doesn't help that a certain leader is taking an interest in her. Movieverse - T/M - (On Hiatus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously...
> 
> I scrunch my eyes shut, trying to get rid of the pit at the bottom of my stomach. But, I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't. I grab onto the edge of the sink in frustration and open my eyes again. My muscles tense up as I stare at the scared reflection. I clench my jaw and grip tighter onto the sink. I'm angry, angry at myself for feeling insecure when there is no reason to. I try to push the anger down as well, but instead, it flares. Quick as a flash, I punch the mirror.
> 
> Instead of breaking it, my fist collides with the tough glass and bounces back. I recoil, bringing my fist to my chest. I stand there for a second, every feeling gone except the anger, which hasn't found its satisfaction. I stare my fist, it's already turning slightly purple. I cuss under my breath and then grab a hair elastic from my wrist and tie up my hair. I, quietly as possible, storm out of the dorms, trying to find a place that can calm me down.

Chapter 2

Matters Of Training

I wander around the compound for a while, trying to find the training room. I decided that going to the training room was a good idea, as yesterday I saw some punching bags in there, which means that I can punch something that isn't unbreakable like the mirror. However, I cannot find the training room, and seem to have gotten lost in the maze that is the Dauntless compound. I curse as I walk to another dead-end and turn around, walking back the way I came. But that doesn't help either and soon I'm facing another dead-end. I curse again loudly and spin around.

But, I'm stopped by someone. It takes me a second to realize what's happening. "What are you doing, initiate?" A cold voice demands. I look up and meet the stare of none other than Eric, the hot but scary Dauntless leader. I gawk for a second and he stares at me with his unimpressed, blue-grey eyes. "I'm lost." I manage to say, despite one the intimidating man's large hands on my shoulder, gripping me tightly. He rolls his eyes and sighs slightly, "Obviously, initiate. Why are you lost?" he says, emphasizing the 'why'.

"I'm looking for the training room."

He raises his eyebrows slightly, "Why?"

"I wanna practice early so that I'm better than the others," I lie quickly, opting not to tell him about my existential crisis.

He stops to think for a second, staring at me in thought. "Well, your nowhere near the training room, initiate."

"I know." I retort.

"Shut it, initiate. No talking back." he snaps, his icy blue eyes narrowing.

I bite my lips, holding back a snarky comment that I would have said if I was in Candor. "Follow me," he growls and turns.

I follow him in silence, hoping that the walk isn't far, so that I can avoid this awkward silence. Luckily, the walk isn't that long, but it's longer than I'd have liked. When we reach the training room, Eric stops and pulls out some keys from his pocket. He sorts through them and then with the right one unlocks the door. He opens the door and steps aside, waving me through in a way that seems bitterly sarcastic. But, he stops me before I can walk through, by grabbing at my wrist. I turn to face him, ready to give him a Candor tongue-lashing that I knew I was going to regret. Yet, I don't, because he is staring at my slightly purple knuckles. "What's this?" he says, staring at my hand with his intense glare.

"Nothing." I whimper.

"Tell me the truth, Candor." he snarls.

I'm slightly surprised that he knows my faction of origin, despite his 'I don't give a crap' attitude. Sighing, I relent, "I punched a mirror."

He looks up at me, a hint of confusion in his eyes, "Why the fuck would you do that?"

"I dunno. I was feeling kinda pissed when I woke up." I say, shrugging my shoulders, hoping that he takes my lie. I don't want to have to explain my insecurity to the fearless leader, who would probably kick me out of Dauntless if I told him. He takes the lie and lets me through to the training room. I walk down the steps and towards the punching bags when I hear the door shut. I turn around to see Eric following me, now looking at a tablet in his hands. He looks up at me, glaring again. I send him a quizzical look and he seems to get the message by answering, "I have to stay with you. Initiates aren't allowed in the training room by themselves." I nod at him and continue walking to the punching bag.

I stop by the first one and get myself ready. However, I'm stopped by a "That's wrong." I turn to glare at Eric, the anger that was settling down now bubbling again. He sighs and walks closer to me. "First rule when fighting, arms up." He lifts up my arms so that they are positioned in front of my chest. "Second rule," he continues, "feet apart so that you don't lose balance." He kicks my feet to move them into the right position. "Third rule, don't put your thumbs inside your fists," he says grabbing my hands, re-positing my thumbs, and then putting my fists back in place. "If you have your thumbs inside your fists, you could break them when punching. If your fist was like that when you punched that mirror, you're lucky to have only bruised it."

"Uh, thanks," I say, not really sure what I should be doing after his advice.

"Now attack," he motions towards the bag in front of me. I punch forward and hit the bag hesitantly. Eric sighs, "Harder." I punch again, this time with my bruised fist, and bite back a wince as the sore skin lands against the bag. "And be careful with that fist, it's bruised so when you punch it's gonna hurt like a bitch." Eric adds. I nod and punch again. "Harder." Eric says each time I punch the bag. However I'm putting all my strength into these punches so harder isn't really an option. "You have literally no muscle at the moment," Eric observes, "but, in a fight you'll need to be strong enough to knock your opponent down." I nod and continue punching. Eric walks closer to me and puts his hand on my back. I stop and look at him. "Tense your stomach and your arms, that'll mean that you might have enough strength to knock someone down."

"Okay." I nod, tensing just at the feeling of his hand on my back.

"It would also help if you're feeling a little pissed," Eric adds.

"Why?"

"I'm sure that when you punched that mirror, you felt strong enough to break it."

"Yeah, but I didn't break it."

Eric snorts, "That's because you have no muscle. I'm sure that when you've finished physical training, you'll be able to break a mirror. But, anger will help you in a fight. You may not have been able to break that mirror, but I'm pretty sure that punch would have been able to knock someone down."

"How do you know that?"

"You're knuckles are bright purple, initiate. Now, continue punching." He growls.

I start punching again, and Eric removes his hand from my back. I continue punching for a long while, Eric staring at his tablet and occasionally looking up at me. Soon, I've worked up a sweat and both my knuckles are slightly bruised. "Enough," Eric commands. I stop punching and turn to face the leader. I wipe the sweat from my forehead. "Follow me," he says in a similar way to when I first saw him this morning. We walk in silence, but I don't mind as it seems more comfortable than talking with him. Shortly, we are at the Pit, where a few people are milling around.

I stand near Eric, not sure what to do as I don't see any other transfers. Eric leaves me to go sit on a small wall, so I decide to sit down on a ledge just a short way from him. I sit there doing nothing, but I can feel Eric's gaze on me. I try not to look back, but in the end I turn to look at him. He raises a pierced eyebrow at me. I turn away again, but look back when I feel that his glare has drifted from me. He's looking across the Pit at some fight that's happening, but doesn't get up to stop it. He doesn't notice me staring at him, so I am able to have a good look at my hot dauntless leader. His arms are huge, built up with pure muscle. And on his forearms he has intricate tattoos, that remind me of a maze. They're really quite stunning. I look up again, to find him staring at me. He smirks, sending me an unknown message. I turn away, but continue to think about him. His smirk is something that I haven't seen. It's small and slightly lopsided, one side curling up higher than the other. It actually makes him look quite cute. So, Eric the scary Dauntless leader, is unbelievably hot and cute when he smiles. I smile to myself a little. But my train of thought is interrupted by someone.

"Hey, Eddi. Where were you this morning?" I look up to see Christina and the rest of the transfers walking over to me.

"I was here. Did you forget that they told us to meet in the Pit last night?" I answer her.

"Did they? Oh well, we're here now." Chris smiles. I quickly realize my bruised hands are on show, so I fold my arms to hide the sore skin. I don't want people to find out about my fight with the mirror, or my early training with Eric.

We sit there and chat for a minute before Four begins telling us about the initiation. He tells us that there are two stages, one where we learn to fight, and one where we face our fears. He also tells us that we will be ranked with the Dauntless-born to workout who get's what job. Then, Eric gives us some amazing news, "The rankings will also determine who gets cut." I look up at Eric, who has walked over to us now.

"Cut?" Chris asks in surprise.

"At the end of each stage of training, the lowest ranking initiates will be leaving us," Eric informs us, his voice steely cold, not showing any remorse.

Eric then informs us that we'll become factionless if we fail. Oh, that's fucking brilliant. But the others decide to speak up, giving Eric the chance to growl at them: "Why? Would you have chosen differently? Or out of fear? Well if that s the case, you might as well get out now. If you're really one of us it won t matter to you that you might fail. Now you chose us, now we get to choose you."

* * *

I pull off my sweaty tank top and throw it to the end of the bed. "How do you think training went?" Chris asks from her cot. I look up, whilst grabbing a clean t-shirt from under my bed.

"It was okay, though my hands are already bruised," I say, weaving a lie to escape having to tell my friends about this morning.

"Yeah, mine are too." Will tell us, cutting into the conversation as he walks over to his nearby cot.

"I think everyone has been bruised today," Tris adds, changing into the baggy outfit she wore yesterday.

Everyone laughs a little, knowing the hard work that our trainers have put us through on our first day of training. "So, guys," Chris asks us, "what do you wanna do tonight?"

"Clothes shopping," I suggest instantly, staring at the pile of bland clothes that I've pulled out from under my cot.

"Yeah, definitely. The stuff they've given us is ugly and baggy." Chris adds.

"I'll come," Tris says. We nod our heads and turn to Will and Al who are sitting adjacent to us.

"No, I think I'll get some things later," Will tell us.

"Yeah, me too," Al adds.

I stand up and turn back to the girls, clapping my hands together. "Okay then, let's go."

We leave our sleeping quarters and walk towards the Pit. Dauntless is truly amazing in my point of view. Despite the dark, craggy rock that the compound is made from, it seems to have a light energy about it. It's unique to Dauntless and no other place has it. I love how it's designed, with a random place or thing here and there, as if someone was playing drunken darts to see where a bridge or shop would be. The light that comes in from the roof of the Pit is beautiful, illuminating the entire space naturally, something that you wouldn't expect for the Dauntless. It's where I belong, unlike Candor or any other faction. I already love it here.

* * *

After we went shopping, we went back to our quarters to try on some of the stuff we bought. Tris ends up in a shortish, black dress and some nice heels. Chris also convinced Tris to put on some eyeliner and it definitely is noticeable. Chris herself has put on a black romper suit and some red sandals. I decided to wear some dark green denim shorts, a black tank top, and a dark green faux leather jacket. We then decided to go back out to the Pit again.

So, whilst Chris and Tris are checking out some of the stores in Dauntless, I've opted to wait in the Pit for Al and Will, who said they'd meet us. I sit alone awkwardly, as sitting alone is always awkward. Even though it's awkward, it's actually not boring. I watch as others walk past, doing their own things. I even get to watch a small fight between some of the older Dauntless; they are clearly more skilled than any of us initiates but show what we are aiming to be. I'm so wound up in watching the world go by that I jump when someone stops right in front of me. "Initiate." I look up to see Eric glaring at me with his stony glare.

"Eric," I respond, slightly confused.

"Are you going to be training tomorrow? In the morning, like today."

I stay silent, still slightly confused to why this conversation is happening. "You said that you wanted to be better than the others so I assumed that you'd wanna use the training room every morning."

"Yeah, I do. But why are you asking me about it?" I ask, noticing his stare harden more as I speak. So, Eric doesn't like people asking questions. Why is that? Though why am I interested in Eric is a more important question. Maybe it's because he's hot. But he's terrifying too. Who'd wanna know about someone who scares the shit outta them? A madman. Oh great, I'm mad; I'll just add that to the list of bad things about me. Or maybe it's because I wanna see if there's actually a good person underneath the hostile wall that Eric puts up. But it's more likely that I'm just mad.

"Did you forget what I said this morning?" Eric snaps back with a question of his own. I look blankly at him, trying to remember. "I said that you're not allowed in the training room by yourself, initiate!" he growls before I have any real chance to think.

"Uh, okay." I nod, feeling uncomfortable.

"So, you'll be meeting me in the Pit tomorrow at the same time as today?"

"Uh, okay." I say again but add, "What time is that as I didn't know what the time was this morning?"

"How did you not know the time?" he counters with his own question. He really doesn't like answering questions.

"I couldn't find anything that could tell me the time."

"You could've asked me."

"I didn't think of that."

He smirks in some kind of victory and then suggests, "How 'bout try to get here around 6, okay?"

"I'll try. I wanna be better than the others and also I kinda enjoyed training without any other initiates there." I nod.

Unexpectedly, Eric leans towards me so that his lips are by my ear. I can feel his breath, hot and tingly against my skin. I can smell him too: aftershave, hair gel, and mint. He whispers deeply, in a tone of voice I do not recognize, "Good." He steps back and turns away, with a lopsided smirk gracing his lips.

I sit there dumbfounded. What the hell was that about? Then it hits me. He saw me checking him out this morning and now he's getting me back. But then again, he could have just been trying to intimidate me. I dunno. He was less cold this morning but then he has shouted at me a lot today. But he shouted at everyone. Just now he said that it was good that I wanted to train with him. I seriously do not know. I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo dudes! idk what to say except for please leave a kudos and suchlike, and I'll give you a virtual cookie for leaving a comment (I would give you a real one if I could). Other than that, drem kos voth hi!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously...
> 
> Unexpectedly, Eric leans towards me so that his lips are by my ear. I can feel his breath, hot and tingly against my skin. I can smell him too: aftershave, hair gel, and mint. He whispers deeply, in a tone of voice I do not recognize, "Good." He steps back and turns away, with a lopsided smirk gracing his lips.
> 
> I sit there dumbfounded. What the hell was that about? Then it hits me. He saw me checking him out this morning and now he's getting me back. But then again, he could have just been trying to intimidate me. I dunno. He was less cold this morning but then he has shouted at me a lot today. But he shouted at everyone. Just now he said that it was good that I wanted to train with him. I seriously do not know. I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow.

Eric walks toward the Pit, staring at the report in his hands. He masterfully hides his nervousness for meeting her this morning. Eddi. He shouldn't have done that last night. He was going to tell her that she mustn't be late, but somehow he ended up saying 'good'. That action last night has now probably made her think that he's perverted. Eric's free hand clenches a little and his eyes harden even more. Admittedly, he doesn't want to help train her, he wants to turn around and go back to his apartment. But, she wants to train and even though she is allowed to train alone, he knows that he should help her. It's his duty as a leader and trainer to make sure the initiates get the training that they need to get into Dauntless, so helping the Candor transfer is his responsibility. He sighs and turns into the Pit. He stops in the doorway to watch her. Eddi paces around the center of the Pit, her hands clenched and her body stiff. He smirks; she's just as nervous as he is. He watches, from the dark doorway in which he is standing, the Candor transfer work herself up. He smirks at little more, knowing the power that he has over this girl. All he said was one, simple word: 'good'. He loves it how she rakes her thin hands through her dark brown hair in apprehension because he made her feel insecure. He loves how he has power over Eddi, loves it more than the power rush he gets when he trains the initiates. He loves how he knows he can make her do whatever he wants. He loves it so much because before transferring to Dauntless, he never had power over anyone. He smirks again to himself, before walking down into the Pit to meet the girl.

She stops pacing as soon as she sees him walking towards her. Eric smirks at her and she gives a small smile back. He laughs internally at her insecureness. "Initiate." he addresses her, hiding the pleasure in his voice.

"Eric," she replies, much like yesterday. He smirks at her again to see how she reacts. This time, she only furrows her eyebrows and doesn't respond.

"You're early," Eric states, adding a harsh tone to his voice.

"Or you're late." she quips back.

"You're early." Eric snaps back, now a little angry.

Eddi nods her head quickly, now wary of her leader. Eric's mood lightens again as she submits to his power again, but he keeps up his angry demeanor to keep her under his control. "Go," he says, motioning for the girl to move. She does, opting to walk just ahead of him. They walk in silence to the training room; Eric knows the girl feels awkward, but he prefers it this way. The walk to the training room is quick and soon Eric is watching Eddi throw punches at the orange bag. The girl has got a little better since yesterday, but that's only because he was there to help her. If he wasn't there then she'd be just like the other transfers. He's already improved her to be better than them, even if it was not by much. Then and there, watching Eddi punch the bags, he silently makes a bet on himself to get her to be in the top three rankings at the end of training. It means that she going to be in his debt for making him help her get to the top. It means that she's going to have to do what he tells her. Eric smirks to himself, watching Eddi punch her way into his control.

* * *

I poke at my lunch , not hungry for the disgusting looking sausages that I've been served. My friends, however, seem to like the sausages, so they must be edible. Still, I don't want to eat them. It's probably because my day has been crap so far and it's only now lunchtime. Mostly my day has been crap because of Eric. He seems to have made me his personal target. During our morning training, he wouldn't stop harassing me by telling me I'm too slow or I'm too weak. And he kept watching me, probably judging me silently. When we went jogging, he purposely ran behind me, telling me to run faster, even though I was in the middle of the group. Then during rifle training, he kept coming over, saying that my stance was wrong or my arms were too shaky or anything else that was barely wrong, as I was actually hitting the target, unlike some of the other transfers, including Tris. And to think last night that he might have liked me is absurd. He hates me, but he's only nice so that it makes me feel worse when he's mean to me. I really don't wanna go to afternoon training, but if I don't then Eric will probably find me and make me do it, or worse kick me out. Actually, the second option seems more like him.

"Hey, Eddi," Chris says, pulling me into the conversation. I mumble an apology quickly, turning my complete attention to the conversation my friends are having. But I'd rather not talk now. "Do you wanna come with us to the Dauntless-born's room tonight? This guy called Uriah invited us."

"No," I say flat out.

"Aww, why not?" Chris smiles.

A quick anger fills me. "I don't want to, okay!" I snap.

Everyone on our table silences, watching me. I quickly go back to poking at my food, trying to ignore the eyes on me. "Are you okay, Eddi? You seem a bit moody today." Tris asks, her abnegation showing.

"I'm okay," I state, firmly.

"Are you sure?" Tris asks.

"She said she was fine." the deep voice of a leader says from behind me. Oh, fuck. I shrink downwards and eat quicker, hoping to get away from him. He's been harassing me all day and now he's 'protecting' me in front of my friends. "We're her friends, we can ask if she's okay." Chris opposes.

"But, I'm your leader." he says, obviously smirking even though I can't see him.

"That gives you no right to her feelings." Christina snaps, her voice rising.

"Quiet, initiate. If you talk to me like that again then you're out, got it?" Eric growls, his voice quieting. Now he's really fucking pissed. Not knowing what to do, I grab my plate and jump up from the table. I quickly put my plate away and leave, turning to see Eric grinning in my direction as I exit. I walk down the corridor for a minute before stopping and just sitting on the floor. I don't cry, but instead, I just stare at the wall. Not thinking about it helps and soon I'm feeling better. That's when Chris finds me. I look up to see her running towards me, a worried expression plastered across her face. "Eddi!" she calls.

"Hey, Chris," I say rather dully.

"Hey, how you feeling?" she says, sitting down on the cold, concrete floor next to me.

"Better."

"Eric's an ass, ain't he?"

"Yeah. He's been an ass to me all day."

Chris nods, "I know how you feel. He's been coming up to me to try and intimidate me, but I can stand up to him."

"Yeah, me too and it's been literally all morning. I mean, I wanted to go to the training room to practice early and he let me and it was okay and I thought that he sorta liked me because of what he said last night and now he's being mean to me and I don't know what to do." I say quickly, worry slipping into my tone. I quickly calm myself, not wanting to have an emotional breakdown in front of my friend in an empty corridor.

Chris looks more worried now, but I am in fact keeping quite calm, though inside am very stressed. "What did Eric say last night?" she asks, picking up on that part of my long sentence.

"He came up to me and asked if I wanted to train in the training room this morning; I'd done it yesterday and he was the one who let me in the room. Then he whispered in my ear, 'good' when I'd told him that I'd like to. The way he said it was weird. Like when a guy is flirting with you but slightly more intense."

I look over at Chris, who has her eyebrows raised. "Ignore him," she advises, looking slightly perplexed. I nod soundlessly. "But, hey," Chris smiles, pulling something out of her pocket, "I've got you cake!"

I laugh and take the cake, quickly removing it from the paper covering. I rip off a piece and hand it over to Chris, "Sorry for snapping at you earlier."

She laughs and takes the piece, saying, "I forgive you, Eddi. Eric being mean to you is definitely a good excuse."

I nod my head, unable to speak because of the chocolate cake now in my mouth. I quickly eat it, then say, "There's only one thing that could make this better. Candor ice cream."

We both smile at each other and continue to eat the cake. Hopefully, the rest of the day will remain like this, being happy with my friends.

* * *

We all watch in awe as Four flips his opponent onto the mat. The smack of flesh against plastic makes most of us transfers cringe. I have to admit, seeing Four fight, that we are a long way from becoming the perfect Dauntless soldiers. Though I'd rather remain different from the rest of Dauntless, I know that I need to become another soldier for Dauntless if I don't want to become Factionless, and that's something I'd rather not do. After Four's demo, we are allowed to have a quick break.

My friends decide to sit on one of the mats, whereas I decide to go get a drink before we start practicing. As I turn to walk back to my friends, after having a drink, I spot Eric standing, almost hidden, alone reading something on his tablet. Anger, much like when I punched the mirror, pulses through me. How could he treat me like that? I storm over to Eric, who looks up at my appearance. "What do you want, initiate?" he growls, "I'm busy, can't you see? Or are you blind or something?"

That makes me explode. I clench my fists and snarl quietly, so not to bring attention to this confrontation, "Shut up, Eric. How and why are you treating me like this?" Eric's eyes narrow instantly, their usual coldness now erupting in a hot fury. He put his tablet down on a sill behind him and walks over towards me, glaring intensely. I do not break his gaze, sending thousands of silent messages to him and him to me. He walks closer, trying to invade my personal space. I step back, but he continues to come closer. Then I hit a wall. Crap. This means that Eric can as close as he wants. Oh boy, he does get in close. He grabs the collar of my tank top and steps in even closer so that our bodies are millimeters apart. Oh God help me, I'm gonna die. "Don't talk to me like that again, initiate." he spits. I nod quickly. Oh, I am so going to die. I look away, not wanting to witness my imminent demise...

"Eddi." His voice is calm and soft and oh my God, he knows my name! "Eddi, look at me," Eric says, stepping back so that he is not so close. I look up with caution, only to see a somewhat calm expression on his face. "Eddi, I have to treat you, and the others, like I do so that you learn to follow orders."

I try to speak a reply but instead my mouth keeps popping open like a fish. Finally, I manage to say, "Yes, okay. But why are you so mean to me and my friends?"

Eric raises his eyebrows as if the answer is obvious. "Because there are other Dauntless who will treat you worse than I have. I want all my initiates prepared for life in Dauntless."

All I can this to say is, "So people here like to give each other verbal beatings. That's not new for me, I'm from Candor and everyone is openly mean there."

Eric glowers slightly at my response and responds, "But in Candor everyone tells the truth, so you probably already know it yourself. In Dauntless, people lie and that makes you doubt yourself. That's much worse than any insult a Candor could give."

That sorta stumps me, "I guess that's worse."

"Yes." he replies bluntly, "Now get back to your friends, training is about to begin again."

I obey and walk past Eric but, before I can get away, he grabs my wrist to stop me. I turn back towards him, feeling slightly controlled. "Eddi, I will never hurt you, I promise," he says softly, with a smile on his lips.

"Okay," I smile unconfidently back. He lets my arm go and I walk back towards my friends in the center of the room. Now I feel just like I did last night: unsure. Though now I think I'm a little more sure but still unsure, if that makes any sense. I can get why Eric is treating us all unfairly, now that he's explained his reasons. But why is he taking a special interest in me? He seems to hate me more than any of the others, but he also seems to like me more as well. He makes me want to cry but he also makes me want to smile. That makes me really unsure. He just told me that the Dauntless lie, which is to be expected, but it also tells me a few things about himself. However, it's all questions. He could be lying about everything he just told me or is he lying about how he acts to me. The second option is very complicated in itself. He could be lying when he's mean to me when he actually likes me or he could be lying when he's nice to me when he actually hates me. It's hard to tell which is the truth. Though I have left Candor, I feel that I want to learn the truth about this man and the truth about how he feels towards me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Ello dudes! All I can say is leave a kudos and if you are an awesome person please leave a nice little comment. Other than that, drem kos voth hi!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously...
> 
> I obey and walk past Eric but, before I can get away, he grabs my wrist to stop me. I turn back towards him, feeling slightly controlled. "Eddi, I will never hurt you, I promise," he says softly, with a smile on his lips.
> 
> "Okay," I smile unconfidently back. He lets my arm go and I walk back towards my friends in the center of the room. Now I feel just like I did last night: unsure. Though now I think I'm a little more sure but still unsure, if that makes any sense. I can get why Eric is treating us all unfairly, now that he's explained his reasons. But why is he taking a special interest in me? He seems to hate me more than any of the others, but he also seems to like me more as well. He makes me want to cry but he also makes me want to smile. That makes me really unsure. He just told me that the Dauntless lie, which is to be expected, but it also tells me a few things about himself. However, it's all questions. He could be lying about everything he just told me or is he lying about how he acts to me. The second option is very complicated in itself. He could be lying when he's mean to me when he actually likes me or he could be lying when he's nice to me when he actually hates me. It's hard to tell which is the truth. Though I have left Candor, I feel that I want to learn the truth about this man and the truth about how he feels towards me.

It's been four days since the choosing ceremony and the training scheme has already become boring. All it is, is a jog in the morning, rifle training before lunch and the after lunch, hand-to-hand combat training. At the moment it's hand-to-hand combat and I'm practicing with Al. I'm the quicker one, but it's obvious that Al would be able to land a harder punch.

Yesterday, Eric seemed to ignore me, which means that he actually listened to me, something I did not expect would happen. Today, he's ignoring me again, but it seems that he is being harsher to my friends, especially Tris. I don't like what he's doing to them but he gave me a good reason for his actions so I'll just have to bite the bullet and ignore what he's doing to my friends. If only there was a way to get Eric to leave everyone alone.

Speak of the Devil, I see Eric walk up beside Four, who is watching us closely. Eric watches us too, for a bit; I look away when Eric's eyes skim over Al and I. For some reason, his gaze seems to linger on me longer than the others, but it's probably just my imagination. Eric's eyes leave me and I am able to look back. He murmurs a few words to Four, before setting his eyes on the central mat. "First jumper, in the ring. Last jumper, time to fight."

I look over at Tris, who was training with Chris. She looks terrified at the aspect of fighting and I don't blame her. The last jumper is Molly, a brutish girl from my old faction. At school, she used to purposefully pick on the weaker kids because she thought it was fun. It's obvious that this tank of a girl is going to win.

We gather around as the two face each other in the center of the ring. "How long do we fight for?" Molly asks.

"Till one of you can't continue," Eric says. I sigh, knowing that was exactly what he was going to say and now my friend is doomed.

Quickly, Four adds, "Or if one of you concedes." Thank you, Four, for preventing Molly from breaking my friend.

"According to the old rules. The new rules: no one concedes." Eric states back. Seriously! I'm beginning to doubt Eric's reasons for doing this; he seems to be doing this out of hatred for me and my friends.

"You really want to lose them in their first fight." Four argues quietly, hoping that we don't hear, but we all do. Eric keeps his eyes forward, but it's easy to spot the anger burning in them.

"A brave man never surrenders," Eric argues back. I guess that is a good reason, but surely in training, it's best to not let your initiates hurt each other until they can't continue. I don't like it anyways. Four quietly tells Eric something and in response to that Eric begins the match.

Both Molly and Tris put their hands up in the defensive position we've been instructed. They pause, unsure what to do. "Go," Eric tells them, boredom dripping from his tone.

Molly shifts towards Tris, who instantly backs away. Oh, come on, Tris! Tris continues to back up until she is out of the ring. She looks around at us with wide, scared eyes. "Don't be scared, Stiff," Peter calls across the ring. Chris glares at him, but I continue to keep my eyes on the match. Tris steps back into the ring and repositions herself. I look over at Eric, who is watching with a bored expression. He notices me looking and smirks, telling me that he'd planned this so that my friend would get hurt. I look back at the fight just as Molly punches at Tris. The abnegation transfer manages to dodge the throw. Chris and I cheer a little but no one else does, so we silence quickly. They circle each other again. Tris tries to throw a punch at Molly but pathetically fails. Molly is able to quickly send a blow to the side of Tris' face, throwing the blonde backward. Tris clutches the side of her face, her eyes slightly shut. She tries to block Molly's next punch but cannot, resulting in her opponent grabbing her in a headlock and punching her repeatedly in the stomach. I wince, hoping that my friend is okay. Tris manages to get free and is able to reposition herself. However, that's not enough. Molly sends a strong punch into Tris' causing her to collapse. Molly hesitates now that Tris is on the floor. Eric, who seems to be the ref of this fight, motions for Molly to continue to attack Tris. Molly completes Eric's order by punching Tris with full force in the face. She hits the floor with a smack, signaling that the fight is over. Chris and I run over to Tris, hoping that she's okay.

We try to wake her up but she's out cold. "Take her to the Infirmary," Eric says flatly. I glare at him but he seems to ignore me. He is responsible for this, hurting my friend. He told me his reasons yesterday, but they don't give an excuse for this. There is no excuse and no reason to why he has done this. He is officially a dick-bag in my books, and there is no way I am training with him anymore. I'm never going near him again. Al and Will run over, helping us to lift the unconscious girl up. She's quite heavy, despite her small size.

* * *

I slowly walk down the steps into the sleeping quarters. After we took Tris to the infirmary, the nurse was able to wake her up and I was tasked with reporting Tris' safety to our instructors. Luckily I was able to find Four first, meaning that I wouldn't have to talk to Eric. When I told Four that Tris was okay, he genuinely looked relieved, something that I don't think Eric would be able to achieve. Especially when it was he himself who got Tris knocked out in the first place.

So, anyway, I'm walking down the stairs into the sleeping quarters. I can hear my friends talking in a quiet tone. Huh, that's a bit odd. Then I hear my name. I stop. "I can't believe Eddi would do that." I can hear Chris' voice hiss.

"If you piece it together it's perfectly reasonable." I hear Will argue. I bite my lip; what have I done?

"But it's just rumors." Chris states. I suck in the breath, hoping my friends don't notice me.

"But you said that she told you that Eric has been specifically targeting her. Lynn said that she saw Eric talking to Eddi in the pit and you said that she said that what Lynn said is true. And Uriah said that one of his friends saw Eric pinning Eddi up against a wall. They definitely have been talking to each other, that's for sure."

"But Eddi would never ask Eric to purposely beat up Tris!" Chris spits. Oh. Crap. People have seen me talking to Eric. Now they think that I'm plotting against Tris. I'd never do that. I decide to listen a bit more.

"I don't think Eddi would do that," Tris says, hopefully convincing people of my innocence.

"You were Abnegation, you're used to people being mean to you. We can't let someone purposely set it up with a leader to have you beat up. You were knocked out, Tris."

"Because of Molly-"

"She only knocked you out because Eric paired you together. And why did Eric pair you together?"

"Because he's an asshole," Chris butts in.

"No, because Eddi asked him to."

"Why?"

"Because of what I've just said."

There is a long, tense pause. I don't dare move, in case one of them hears me in this silence. "Okay, I'm not sure." Chris sighs, breaking the quiet.

"So you agree with me?" Will asks.

"I'm not sure," Chris repeats.

That's it, I've had enough. I slowly climb back up the stairs and out into the corridor. I lean against the wall opposite the doorway to the stairs. No. I run my fingers through my hair. No, my best friend cannot be losing trust in me. We grew up together, she knows I'd never lie. Why? I feel tears well and quickly slash my hand across my eyes to get rid of them. I take several deep breaths and put my hands on my knees. I should just forget what I heard and continue on as normal. My friends will soon find out that I didn't set Tris up to fight Molly as I'm going to stay away from Eric. If people don't see me around him then they'll not associate me with him and then his actions will be seen as his own, meaning I won't be blamed for them. I wipe my eyes to make sure they look okay and then walk back down the stairs. "Guys, are you down there?" I call so that they know I'm coming and I don't walk into an awkward conversation.

"Yeah!" I hear Chris call back. I run down into the room to see them sitting on their beds.

"Hey!" I smile, trying to seem as if I didn't just hear their conversation. They all smile greeting back, also pretending that they weren't just talking about me. Everything feels a little awkward for a second but then Chris starts off by telling me, "We've decided to get tattoos. You wanna come?"

I nod and then turn to Tris, "How are you feeling?"

She nods, "Good."

I smile, noticing the hesitation in everyone around me. I've just come to the conclusion that now in Dauntless I can trust nobody, not even my own friends, to tell the truth.

* * *

"You think that's good?" Chris asks Will, holding up the glass with the design on it. Noticing the chemistry brewing between the two, I decide to move over to look at some designs for myself. I really want a tattoo to be different and now is the chance to get one. I'm not sure on a design, but I know that I want it big. I've noticed that most of the Dauntless have smaller tattoos, so if I go big then I'll stand out. The only problem with getting a large tattoo now is that it gives me the chance to think about what I heard my friends talking about. Hopefully, the tattoo artist will talk to me so I don't have to think.

I look at the designs, picking several that I think I might like. My favorites are the Candor symbol, a Celtic knot pattern, five interlinked circles (to represent the factions I think), and some large black flames. I have them spread out in front of me, on a table in the corner of the shop. The decision is hard, as I will be having my chosen design drawn permanently onto my skin, so I must like it. The Candor symbol would be good as it represents my old faction, but I left Candor for a reason, so I should not get a tattoo to remember the faction. I like the interlinked circles and they have a nice meaning; however, they are slightly boring compared to the other designs. The Celtic pattern is beau- "I like that one." I snap my head up to see the person I wanted most to avoid looking down at the designs in front of me, pointing at the one with the flames. "What do you want?" I say quickly, hoping that I can get away from him, fast.

His gaze darkens, but stays on the designs, "Do not talk to me like that initiate. Just because I'm giving you private lessons, it does not give you the right to question me."

Oh, so he's going to be tricky. "Sorry, Eric, I just thought that maybe I could because I'm not coming to your training lessons anymore. You're a crappy teacher and an asshole and you got my friend beaten up. Why would I wanna train with you?" I spit, confident that my insults will get him to leave me alone. For good.

I am wrong, very wrong. He grabs me by my ponytail and thrusts my head down onto the table, throwing the designs everywhere. "If you try to insult me again, you're out, you little bitch," he growls with furious malice in his words. Fear shoots through me. I've never seen Eric this angry before, and that's saying something. Now I realize that all his shouting and all his harsh words are fake. This is real, this is the real Eric, the real feelings of the closed off leader. I shouldn't have said anything. But I must now. And I must tell the truth. "I'm sorry," I plead, "I didn't mean it. I only said it because of the things my friends have been saying." He doesn't let go but he lessens his grip a little. I close my eyes in the silence that has quickly drawn between us. "What did they say?"

"They said that I'd asked you to get Tris knocked out and that there are rumors. And people have seen us together."

"So what?"

"I might lose my friends. They don't trust me anymore."

"You've only known them for four days."

"Yeah, most of them. But even Christina doubts me, and we've been friends since we were kids. I don't wanna lose her and I don't want her to hate me."

"But why did you insult me?"

"Because I'd thought you'd leave me alone so that I can keep my friends."

Suddenly he lets go and pulls me up to face him. "Eddi, when you chose to come to Dauntless you knew that you would lose everything that you love. Did you realize that you'd lose the friends that came with you as well?" A slightly sad look passes across his face for a second but then disappears into the blank expression that usually dons his face. "If people don't trust you or spread rumors about you then fuck them."

I look up at him, "But I don't wanna lose my friends and I don't want them thinking that I have _something_ with you. You purposely put Tris against Molly so that she would get knocked out and now they think I asked for it to happen."

Eric sighs, "Is that what this is really about? You complaining about how I train you and your friends. I've already told you my reasons but because that wasn't enough for you, I'll tell you this. When I joined Dauntless, my trainer put me against Four. It was clear that Four was the best out of all of us even though it was the first week. I was pretty good, but Four was way better. It was also obvious that he didn't like me. I didn't last very long and when I was down, Four didn't stop. My trainer just stood there and watched. I pleaded to concede but no one stopped Four, they just let him beat me until I was almost unconscious. I want my initiates to know what it's like to be beaten like that in a fight, so that if it happens in real life, they can recover quicker. Remember that, Eddi."

I stand there, unsure about what to do. Eric, who had just had me pushed into a table, is now telling me about something personal to him. I don't know if this can excuse him, but the fact that he's telling this to me, the person who just dared to insult him, is quite astounding. "Will you be coming tomorrow, then, initiate? Or did you really mean that you're not coming?"

"No, I think it would be better if I didn't come. I really don't want more rumors to be spread around."

"Really? Did you just ignore what I just told you? Fuck all the crap that people say and the people who say it."

"But I don't wanna lose my friends to the rumors."

Eric sighs exasperatedly, "You'll make new friends."

"I don't like that people are talking about me behind my back."

"You said that the rumors were about me too; does it look like I care about it? You shouldn't care about it either."

"But I wanna keep my friends!"

Eric growls something inaudible and begins to walk away. However, he stops and turns back, "If you want to keep your friends then fine. But if you value your place in Dauntless then you better come tomorrow and the rest of training. It's your choice, Eddi."

He leaves me standing there, like many times before this week. I sigh, the emotions I am feeling right now a mess in my mind. I turn back to the designs, tossing the thoughts around. I don't know what I should do, except for one thing. Eric's right, I should get the flame tattoo.

* * *

We gather around Four, who had told us that he will reveal the fighting arrangements for today. It seems that after yesterday's fight between Tris and Molly meant that now all of us can fight each other. Great. That definitely spoils my good mood.

I've been feeling quite happy after getting my tattoo as everyone is noticing it as it is different from other people's tattoos. It does stand out; large black flames licking up the side of my arm from my wrist to my shoulder. A lot of people (mostly Dauntless-borns) have been stopping to say that they like it. That makes me really happy as it makes me feel that I am getting closer to achieving my dream of being different that everyone else. But the fact that I have to fight one of my fellow transfers has burst my bubble. Even though I have been training with Eric, who surprisingly didn't comment on my tattoo this morning, I think that it will be quite hard to beat whoever I am fighting.

Four coughs to bring our full attention to him. "Okay, initiates, today you will be fighting each other for the first time. After yesterday's fight, Eric has decided to keep the no conceding rule," Four purposely emphasizes Eric's name as if to tell us that he was not involved in the decision. "You will be fighting another initiate in this group which we think is almost equal to your skill level, which means that you could be fighting some of your friends. The fights today will be Peter and Edward first, then Will and Al," I look over at my two friends, who both look slightly worried at the aspect of fighting each other, "Molly and Drew after them and then Christina and Eddi." My brain stops after that, only focusing on the fact that I will be fighting my childhood friend until one of us is unable to continue. I cannot purely blame Eric for this, though I want to. Four said that we are fighting people close to our skill level, which basically means people who are next to us in the rankings. I am just under Chris, meaning that it is inevitable that we will fight. Though I do really wanna think that Eric purposely did this to get back at me for 'trying to' insult him. I look over at Chris, who looks equally worried.

Unfortunately, time goes quite quickly leading up to my fight with Chris. There is a giant pit in my stomach, though not as big as when I get insecure about myself. I don't know how to fill it, though, unlike my insecurity, which I have begun to fill by getting my tattoo. I watch the other fights nervously, Edward beats Peter in their fight and Al beats Will, causing the large ex-Candor to get upset. Molly beats Drew, though she doesn't seem to care that she's knocked out her friend. Now, it's me and Chris.

Four calls us into the ring and we get into position. Just as we get ready, Eric walks into the training room. Oh great, now he'll be watching us too. He smirks as he walks up to the ring and then commands in his usual cold, unrelenting tone: "Fight!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy cliffhanger! Please leave a kudos and stuff, and if you want to be blessed the the great angel of Divergent, leave a nice comment for me to read. Other than that, drem kos voth hi!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously…
> 
> Unfortunately, time goes quite quickly leading up to my fight with Chris. There is a giant pit in my stomach, though not as big as when I get insecure about myself. I don't know how to fill it, unlike my insecurity, which I have begun to fill by getting my tattoo. I watch the other fights nervously, Edward beats Peter in their fight and Al beats Will, causing the large ex-Candor to get upset. Molly beats Drew, though she doesn't seem to care that she's knocked out her friend. Now, it's me and Chris.
> 
> Four calls us into the ring and we get into position. Just as we get ready, Eric walks into the training room. Oh great, now he'll be watching us too. He smirks as he walks up to the ring and then commands in his usual cold, unrelenting tone: "Fight!"
> 
> I'm already sweating buckets and we haven't even moved. Chris also looking hesitative. I don't want to do it and I can tell Chris doesn't want to either. In my entire life, I never thought I'd be in the position that I'd have to hit my friend, let alone render her unable to continue. I look over at Eric, who is standing in my eye line. He looks at me, expecting me to attack like I have when he's been instructing me in the morning. I think back to last night when he told me that I'll lose my friends. At this time, I can kinda see that he is right. Whoever loses this fight will hold something against the other for hurting them, meaning that our relationship will deteriorate a little. So if Eric is right, it means that it doesn't matter. I should just punch her and get it over with. So I try.

Like I've been instructed by Eric, I tense so that I 'might have enough strength to knock someone down,' quoting my leader exactly. As if Eric notices this, he shouts at me like he usually does to start off my training, "Attack, initiate, we haven't got all day!" I close my eyes and send a punch forward. However, Chris is able to duck out of the way. I turn to face her again, both of us with our hands up. I keep tense and put my arms up. Chris swings her arm towards me but I am unable to duck out the way like she did. However, I put my arms forward in a defensive position like Eric showed me. Her punch hits my arms, the smack of flesh echoing around the room. It stings a little but does not hurt majorly. I stay where I am, whereas Chris steps back and rubs her fist. In that pause, I am able to quickly step forward and deliver a solid punch into Chris' arms. They swing back, leaving her torso open for attack. I send another punch with my weaker hand at the side of her stomach. It hits and she winces, sidestepping away. We circle each other again, hands back up. More confident now, I send a kick towards her legs, hoping that I can cause her to fall over and make this a quick fight. But she is able to grab my leg and toss it to the side, making me the person to tumble to the ground. Being one of the smallest people in the group, Chris is quicker than I am and is able to kick me in the back before I can even try to get up. I collapse, the breath taken out of me. In defense, I roll back over and curl up so that my arms and legs are in front of me for protection. Chris tries to send a kick through the small gap between my legs and my arms, but I raise my legs so that her kick rebounds. She stumbles back, giving me the chance to stand up even though I'm still breathless. I put my arms up again so that I have protection whilst I catch my breath. I notice Eric watching me, a slightly proud expression on his face. I guess because he's been helping me with extra training, he's proud that I'm doing well. Chris throws another punch whilst my mind drifts and I am just able to deflect it. She throws another punch and I am able to push it away again. I try to throw a punch at her, but she is able to push my arm to the side and jab my shoulder. I jolt to the side, losing my balance. I stumble and fall onto one knee. Chris is able to punch me in the back of the head, again sending me to the floor. I land on my side and try to push myself up as quickly as I can. Chris sends another kick to my side, causing me to fall onto my back. She tries to send another kick to my chest, but I grab her foot and pull her down. She falls down on top of me, causing both of us to lose our breath. I am able to push her off me and onto the floor next to me. I stand up unsteadily, Chris also starting to sit up. I send a weak kick to the side of her head, causing her to slip back and me to wobble on my unstable legs. I put my feet apart so that I regain balance. But in the time that I regain my balance, Chris is able to stand up too. I look up just as Chris throws a sharp punch to my nose. A loud crack comes from the connection and suddenly my nose starts to throb. I put my hand up to my numb nose and pull my hands away when I feel a warm, sticky liquid leak onto them. I wipe my blood onto my leggings and try to ignore the nose bleed caused by my friend's punch. I throw a punch at Chris, but it's sloppy and she is able to dodge it. The nose bleed is causing me to become lightheaded and I begin to stumble a bit. Chris sends a kick to my waist as I stumble across the mat, causing me to lose my footing and fall to the ground. As I do so, my mind goes black.

* * *

Eric watches as Eddi collapses to the floor. He bites the inside of his cheek as she does not try to get up. Her friend Christina stops, breathing heavily. Eddi does not even try to get up, meaning that Christina has won the match. "Christina wins," Four confirms. Christina stumbles off the mat; Eric has to admit that even though Eddi persistently told him that they were friends, they had a really rough fight that you would not expect from childhood friends. Eric knows he's right about what he said yesterday, about Eddi's friendship, and this fight has started the breakdown of their relationship, a bit like a pin the tire of a car, as soon as it falls out the tires will break and the car won't drive anymore.

Eric turns his attention back to Eddi, who still hasn't moved. Eric feels a flash of worry go through him, something he does not feel often. He walks over to her, hoping that she isn't unconscious. He nudges her with his boot to see if he can get any kind of response from her. She doesn't. He kneels down and rolls her onto her back to check her breathing and pulse. It's easy for him to tell that her breathing is fine, and after a minute, he can tell that her heartbeat is steady. He then rolls her over to her side into the recovery position. Eric stands up, calling to her friends, "She's unconscious; she needs to be taken to the infirmary." They turn to him but don't do anything. What the fuck, they're her friends. Eric has to bite his cheek again to prevent himself from giving them all a verbal beating for their actions. But he doesn't for he knows that Eddi told him that there are rumors spreading around about her and him having sex so that she can get higher in the rankings. Eddi's stupid friends are waiting to see what he does, to see if the rumors are true. If he punishes them for this, then it would seem to them that he likes her, which would not help the rumors. He knows that to keep Eddi in his power he must try to keep the rumors at bay so that she likes him for it. However, it's his duty as a leader to keep the initiates relatively safe, so he must take her to the infirmary if no one else will take her.

"Are you just gonna stand there and do nothing?" he yells at them to try to get them to take her, but they stay where they are. He growls as he picks her limp body up. Her friends look at him, judging his actions. They're idiots, they don't realize that it's a leader's responsibility to make sure everyone is safe. He's doing his duty, not purposely He glares at them as he carries her away.

He looks down at her, her nose very bloody and still leaking her fluids. From Eric's childhood at Erudite, he can tell that her nosebleed, combined with the fact that she was getting hit by the Christina, was enough to render her unconscious. So the other initiate didn't have the strength to knock out Eddi, she only had the strength to cause a bad nosebleed. But she still hurt Eddi. They were friends, and Christina was perfectly okay with rendering her unconscious and not actually trying to help her afterward.

He continues to look down at her. He can't do anything at the moment to help ease the bleeding of her nose, as he has to carry her with both arms, except walk faster. Her bluish green eyes are shut and her hair is in her face, making her look as if she's asleep, except for her bloody nose. Eric feels slightly annoyed with himself as he could have stopped the fight. But that's breaking the rules – no one can concede, including him conceding for her – and he cannot do that because breaking the rules is always wrong in his opinion. Eric sighs, pulling the girl closer to his chest to stop her from slipping from his grasp.

As soon as he walks in, the nurse runs over to her and asks him what happened. He tells her that she fell unconscious because of the nose bleed she gained in a fight. The nurse asks him to bring her into a treatment room. He takes her there, putting her down onto the cot. The doctor doesn't arrive in record time, which annoys Eric a little. The nurse holds a cloth to Eddi's nose to stop the bleeding as the doctor checks her over. The check is quick and soon the doctor is done. The nurse tells him that his initiate is okay – "she's fine but she'll be a little lightheaded for a few hours and have a sore nose for a while." – and she'll be awake soon.

Soon turns out to be a couple of hours, but Eric doesn't care. Four can train them without him. He does send a nurse to tell Four that he has to fill out some paperwork, which is true. Though all he has to do is sign his name on a few papers, which doesn't take long. Then he waits. The couple of hours, until she wakes, is slow for Eric, but as soon as she starts to stir, Eric doesn't care how long the wait was. She groans slightly and rubs her head. "What the fuck happened?" is her first words.

Eric's first word to her is, "Christina knocked you out."

She blinks a few times at him and then says "Why the fuck are you here?" in a drowsy tone.

"Your friends are training, so I have to stay with you." He answers, not bothering to get angry at her questioning.

"The highlight of your day, watching my pretty face," she laughs.

Eric feels a small smile twitch on his lips, causing Eddi to grin and loudly state, "You're cute when you smile."

Eric can't help but become a little defensive of his masculinity, "I'm not cute, Eddi, you're not thinking straight."

"You're just getting defensive because you know it's true," she argues back.

"I'm not," he states quickly.

Eddi sighs, "Well, according to me, you are cute when you smile, no matter what you or anybody else thinks."

"Okay," Eric mutters in defeat.

Eddi chuckles a little but then stops. Eric glances up at her to see if she's okay. She looks down at him, concern on her face. "Eric," she asks, "is that clock right?" He nods, knowing that she's cracked the lie he told her. "Training's finished, Eric. Where are my friends?" Eric looks up at her, keeping his stoic look, but feeling a little guilty for lying to her.

"I only lied because you told me that you wanted to keep your friends," he says as an excuse.

"Where are my friends, Eric?" she asks again, growing slightly agitated.

"I don't know. Once you were knocked out, they didn't come to you. I told them to take you to the infirmary but they ignored me. I had to bring you here."

Eric expects Eddi to cry or something. But, no, the opposite happens. "What the fuck?" she hisses angrily. That's all she says, but Eric can tell that inside her head is a lot of angry questions and insults flying about. He knows that feeling, like when his friends in initiation decided to go against him. He doesn't dwell on the thought though, as Eddi speaks again, rapidly changing subject.

"Why did I lose the fight, Eric?"

Eric generally felt relieved at the question. He doesn't like answering the girl's questions about her social life, even though he had a similar experience. This question he can answer with ease, "You were too tense."

Eddi scoffs, "You told me to be tense."

He rolls his eyes, "Obviously I didn't mean that tense."

"Okay. What should I do to help me become less tense?"

Instantly he answers, "In group training, I suggest training with someone else by getting them to try to hit you. But with me, you'll see tomorrow."

Eddi nods and goes to say something, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Eric sighs, "Enter."

Eddi's friends warily come in through the door, trying to keep their eyes off Eric, who is glaring intensely at them. Knowing that he should leave, Eric gets up and leaves, ignoring the desperate look of the Candor transfer.

* * *

I watch Eric leave. For some reason, I want him to stay. But he doesn't. I think with him here, I may have been able to control my feelings, but now I can't. I look at my friends, Christina, Al, and Tris. Will isn't here as Al knocked him out. They all have small smiles on their faces. "How are you feeling?" Tris asks.

"Good."

Chris' smile sinks, noticing my unease. "I'm so sorry, Eddi. I didn't mean to knock you out."

"Apology accepted for knocking me out. Seeing as you haven't apologized for it yet, I can't forgive you for letting Eric bring me here."

All of them suddenly look very guilty. "Sorry, Eddi," Tris says, "It was only me and Al who could have taken you and we wouldn't have been able to lift you between the two of us."

"Really? I don't think so. Even though he's a huge dick, Eric gave me so good insight on what really happened. I know I shouldn't trust him, but I'm pretty sure he was telling the truth."

"What did he tell you?" Chris asks quickly.

"He told me that he tried to get you to bring me here but you ignored him and he had to bring me here because he couldn't leave an initiate unconscious on the floor," I tell them, ice in my words. I made up the last part, but I'm pretty sure that's the reason Eric brought me here.

"He already had you in his arms by then," Al argues.

"But you still could have at least been worried."

"We were!" Chris argues.

"How can I be sure of that? I thought I could trust you guys but now I know that you don't care about me and talk about me behind your back."

"What? We don't talk about you behind your back."

"Oh, there goes the lie. You have been talking about me behind my back. Yesterday I overheard you talking about me in the dormitory. I was on the stairs whilst you talked about how I asked Eric to make Tris fight Molly yesterday."

Chris looks utterly devastated and guilty. "How much did you hear?"

"I started at 'Eddi wouldn't do that' to 'I'm not sure, she might have'."

Chris bites her lip, "I'm so sorry you had to hear that."

I growl, "You cannot be sorry for me hearing it. The only thing you can be sorry for is talking about me behind my back."

"I'm really sorry, Eddi. I'm your best friend, please forgive me and the others, we didn't mean to but the rumors spreading made us talk about you. We weren't sure if it was true."

"I forgive you, Chris. I'm your best friend, please let me apologize for blaming you, I wasn't sure if you were being my true friend so I had to confront you. I mean if you thought the rumors could be true then it really was a good reason to blame you." I say slightly sarcastically, paraphrasing Chris' last sentence.

Chris smiles slightly, not noticing the small bit of sarcasm in my tone, "We're all really sorry. Please, let's just forget this and carry on being friends."

Knowing that this argument could continue for hours, I say, "Okay, I'll forget about it." Hopefully, they will leave me alone now. However, Chris smiles even more and runs over, hugging me tightly. I mentally sigh and wrap my arms around her. And to make it seem better, I beckon for Al and Tris to come over so that they can join the hug. They do and we end in an awkward hug with me on the bed and the others leaning over so that we've all got our arms around each other. Even though we're hugging, I know that our friendship won't last until the end of initiation.

* * *

Eric smiles lopsidedly at me from across the ring. "Why are you so happy?" I ask.

"I'm not; you said I look cute when I smile so I thought you might appreciate it."

"I never said that." I defend.

"You did. When you woke up after getting knocked out."

"I don't remember."

"You were really lightheaded."

"Crap. Sorry."

Eric stops smiling at me and turns on his serious mode. "This morning, you will be practicing defense. I will try to hit you and you must be able to dodge. If you can, you must try to hit me as well. First, three laps around the training room."

I nod, "I guess that's why you were happy: you get to hit me." Eric stares blankly at me so I set off. The three laps take around ten minutes to do. They're quite tiring, but as usual, Eric doesn't let me stop for a breath. We're back in the ring now, ready to start. I have myself in the position that I've been taught and Eric is in the same position as he was the one who taught it to me.

Without warning, Eric goes to punch me in the face. I put my arms up to hold back his punch but he's way too strong and I end up punching myself. I cuss in pain. Eric raises his eyebrow and says, "Instead of putting your arms in front you, you should push my fist away." I nod and get into position again. He sends another punch toward my chest and this time I do what he says. I manage to push his throw out of the way. I stop and smile, proud of my little achievement. But I should have known better to stop. Eric punches me in the gut and I keel over. "Don't lose concentration, initiate. In a real fight, it could cost you your life." I nod and straighten up. He punches again and I push him away. However just after the first punch he sends another, meaning that I do not have a chance to block. He hits me in the ribs. This time, I try not to recoil and instead throw my leg up to try to kick him. Somehow I do and somehow I land the kick right on his dick.

"Fuck." Eric breathes, clutching his groin.

I want to laugh but I try to hold it in. However, I end up snorting laughter through my nose. I turn away to avoid the glare that Eric is now giving me. But in my outburst of laughter, Eric is able to recover and come up behind me. He grabs me by the waist and flips me over his shoulder. He lets go and I fly through the air. I hit the mat hard, sprawling with my arms and legs out wide. It hurts a lot but I still laugh. Eric sighs, now standing at my feet. "You're fighting Drew today, you won't be able to learn to beat him if you just lie there laughing." He says 'laughing' likes it's a foreign word that he's never heard before. Though it's very hard to imagine Eric having a giggle like I am now.

I stop giggling when the training room door slams shut. I sit up sharply, staring at the door. Eric, too, seems on high alert, watching the door carefully. No one is there, but it's obvious that someone was, because Eric shut it when we came in, so it couldn't have blown shut. Crap. "Brace yourself," Eric says, still staring at the door, "those rumors about us are going to get a lot worse."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and angst all in the same chapter, yay! Please leave a kudos and suchlike, and if you are the greatest person on Earth, leave me a nice comment to read. Drem kos voth hi!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously…
> 
> This time, I try not to recoil and instead throw my leg up to try to kick him. Somehow I do and somehow I land the kick right on his dick.
> 
> "Fuck." Eric breathes, clutching his groin.
> 
> I want to laugh but I try to hold it in. However, I end up snorting laughter through my nose. I turn away to avoid the glare that Eric is now giving me. But in my outburst of laughter, Eric is able to recover and come up behind me. He grabs me by the waist and flips me over his shoulder. He lets go and I fly through the air. I hit the mat hard, sprawling with my arms and legs out wide. It hurts a lot but I still laugh. Eric sighs, now standing at my feet. "You're fighting Drew today, you won't be able to learn to beat him if you just lie there laughing." He says 'laughing' likes it's a foreign word that he's never heard before. Though it's very hard to imagine Eric having a giggle like I am now.
> 
> I stop giggling when the training room door slams shut. I sit up sharply, staring at the door. Eric, too, seems on high alert, watching the door carefully. No one is there, but it's obvious that someone was, because Eric shut it when we came in, so it couldn't have blown shut. Crap. "Brace yourself," Eric says, still staring at the door, "those rumors about us are going to get a lot worse."

It's been three days since someone saw Eric and I training together. Eric was right (again), the rumors got a lot worse. When the rumors started, I knew nothing about them and everyone seemed pretty good at making sure I didn't hear. But now everyone's talking about it. The rumors have stayed the same, but now as I walk down the corridor, I feel eyes penetrating in the back of my skull. My friends try to comfort me about the lies that are spreading, but knowing that they considered the fact that the rumors could be true without any real, strong evidence, their comfort doesn't really help. For some reason, the only person who can make me feel a little better about the rumors is the person who shares the accusations with me. Maybe it's because Eric is the only person who doesn't care.

Eric, though still not as approachable as usual, seems to be being a little nicer to me. After the intrusion of our training session, he's offered to change our sessions to the evening so that it's less likely that someone will walk in on us. I had to refuse, otherwise, I wouldn't have time with my friends. He didn't take it so well, but then the next morning when I met him for training, he didn't bring me to the main training room. Instead, he took me out to a little building next to the main compound. He explained that it's the leader's gym but no one ever uses it in the morning, so no one will come in on us. He also said that he'd reported the rumors to Max. I was very worried what Max thought but Eric reassured me that he'd told our head leader that it was all lies and that initiates were spreading the rumors as they didn't like his training methods and they didn't mind putting one of their fellow initiates under the bus. I am in Eric's debt for so many things now. He's actually done so many things for me and I've never actually noticed properly. He's done things which I may not have liked at first, but now I realize he's trying to help me adjust to Dauntless life.

We're doing rifle training at the moment and I seem to be doing pretty well. I'm able to hit the chest quite easily, but I find hitting the head slightly more challenging. I manage to shoot the target in the collarbone area when Four calls us to stop. He looks quite serious today but that might be because of the woman standing next to him. I have no idea who she is but by the look of her, it's enough to make someone behave. She looks to be in her mid-thirties, with several wrinkles and tired looking eyes. Or should I say eye? One eye is perfectly normal, the green iris gazing over us all. Her other eye is gone, the right side of her face covered with long white scars. The area where her eye was has been covered over with a patch of skin, put there by doctors to cover the gap. It makes me wonder why she is here, she only has one eye, shouldn't she be factionless?

"This is Abbey. She is one of Dauntless' best snipers and will be showing you how to shoot long range." Four introduces.

As soon as Four finishes, Abbey buts in. "I work mostly on the fence, but today I was asked if I wanted to come teach you what I do. Unlike your current instructors, I will be a little harsher." Christina, who is standing in the center of the group, laughs. Abbey's eye snaps to her, giving me a horrible feeling in my gut. Abbey doesn't say anything but her whole demeanor is questioning Chris. "We have Eric. I doubt you could be worse than him." Suddenly the bang of Abbey's gun goes off, everyone looking around in panic. It's only when Christina screams that we know what happened. "You almost shot me!" she yells. Abbey stares at Chris, cocking her eyebrow slightly. Four rushes in front of Abbey, trying to make sure that she doesn't shoot again. "You're not allowed to shoot at the transfers!" he hisses at her.

After the scuffle, Four sets us up at the targets and gives us some new guns. Abbey demonstrates how to load the new gun and how to shoot from a long distance. When we start to practice on our own, I find it very difficult to hit the target. I look down the barrel, through the magnifier and aim the gun. I wrap my fingers around the cold, metal trigger and press it. When I shoot, I can handle the recoil well, but my aim seems to be worse than I thought.

"Harder than it looks, isn't it?" I look up from reloading my gun to see Abbey watching me. I nod, carrying on with reloading my weapon. When I've finished, Abbey grabs the gun out of my hands. "If you can't shoot standing up, then kneel down." She demonstrates, kneeling on one knee and shooting at my target. It hits the center of the forehead. She gives the gun back and I copy what she did. Kneeling feels better, as I'm able to keep the gun steadier. I shoot and manage to hit the stomach area. "Good, but not lethal," Abbey remarks. I stand up and fire the gun above her head like she did with Chris. The bullet doesn't even go near her, which I'm kinda glad about. No one notices except Abbey, who unexpectedly smiles at me. "You almost shot me!" she says in a falsetto voice, waving her hands slightly in fake horror. I can't help but laugh, even though she's making fun of my friend. "What are you laughing about?" Eric says, appearing out of nowhere. I giggle a little bit in surprise and Eric eyes me. "Nothing, sir," Abbey says in a sweet voice, saluting him mockingly. I laugh again; I can't believe that she's willing to talk to Eric like that. Eric glares at her and she glares back, with her single eye. She cuts it off by standing up and walking off, only turning around to quickly tell me, "I like you, kid, you're a good person."

Eric raises a pierced eyebrow at me, "What was that about?"

"I shot at her."

He looks at me in confusion, but only answers with a simple, "Okay."

I turn back to the target and kneel down. I aim and shoot again, hitting the target on the shoulder. I can still feel Eric watching me, but I try to continue to shoot. "Why were you laughing?" he asks, just after I shoot. I sigh and look up at him. "We were making fun of Christina, okay. Abbey shot at her and Chris got scared. When I shot at Abbey, she decided to imitate Chris and I found it funny."

"Why?"

I sigh again, getting tired of his questioning, "I guess because Chris' lied to me and stuff. I'm not really sure."

"So you don't like Christina?"

I sigh for a third time, "I don't know." I shoot again, the sound blocking out what Eric says next. He walks away, leaving me feeling slightly annoyed.

Al moans in defeat as I kick him in the side. Ever since his fight with Will, he doesn't want to hurt anybody, so he just lets them win. So as he's fallen down the ranks, I've risen slightly, meaning that we had to fight each other. The fight was easy, he just let me punch and kick him until he couldn't continue. It was like hitting a human punching bag, but I guess that's what Al is now that he doesn't want to fight.

* * *

As Al is helped up off the mat by Will, Eric calls out the next fight, "Molly and Christina." I watch as my friend walks onto the mat, a little too confidently. Chris has been winning all of her matches recently, so she's near to the top of the rankings. Molly is one above her, so this is going to be an interesting fight. I stand opposite Eric, not for any reason, except to maybe see his reaction to the fight.

Most of the fight I watch Eric, who occasionally looks up at me. I don't look away, I'm not as scared of his gaze as before. I notice that as the fight progresses, his eyes are calculating something. Not in the way a Dauntless would, more like an Erudite. I think back to something he said, something about being a transfer. Maybe he was from Eru- "Enjoying the view of your boyfriend, Eddi." I look away from Eric to see Peter grinning darkly at me. I also feel Eric's eyes now on me, as if wondering why I'm not looking anymore. "There's nothing between Eric and me, Peter," I tell him.

"I can see why you're not Candor anymore," he smirks.

"I'm telling the truth," I snap.

"But I heard Tris say that she saw you and Eric in here a few days ago. She said you were laughing and he was on top of you."

"What?" I growl, "That's not true." All I can think about is that it was Tris who saw us. But Peter could be lying.

"I'm telling the truth Eddi, that's what Tris said. You can trust me, to tell the truth to you, we were once Candor."

"Well then, what Tris said wasn't true. She's from Abnegation. They lie all the time, don't they?" I say, referencing when Peter accused an Abnegation boy of lying in the lines for the Aptitude Test.

"True. But what are you doing with him then? I've noticed that you've always been awake before any of us."

Sighing, I relent, "Eric's been giving me extra training in the morning. That's all."

"Why?"

"I want to get better. I have no idea why he does it, so I can't help you there."

Peter smirks at me and goes to say something. He's cut off by Chris calling out, "No. No. I'm done. I'm done." I flick my eyes back to Eric, who is looking straight at me. A slight smirk twists at the corners of his mouth before he looks down at Chris. "You need to stop?" he asks her, slight amusement in his tone. She nods her head, blood running from her nose. "Okay. Let me give you a hand," he says, malicious intent wrapping around his words. She hesitates, then takes his hand and he pulls her to her feet. "Thanks," she mutters.

"Alright, let's everyone take a break!" Eric suddenly calls. I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen next. As we walk in a throng down the corridors of Dauntless, which I somehow recognize to lead to the Chasm, I notice Eric put his hand on Christina's back. I suddenly feel a pang in my chest, like disappointment. I'm jealous. Eric and Chris are a little further ahead now, he's leading her onto the Chasm bridge. That's when I lose my jealousy of Chris, when he pushes her off the edge, leaving her to dangle by her hands.

"You got three options. Hang there and I'll forget your cowardice, fall and die, or give up. But if you give up you're out," Eric tells her, and us, in a casual tone. Despite the fact that my friend is hanging onto the edge of death, I cannot help but think that Eric's voice right then was really attractive. I try to ignore the thought, trying to focus on the fact that my childhood friend is in a life or death situation. "Come on, Chris," Tris calls in the tense silence. Eric slowly looks up, glaring intensely at the Abnegation transfer. The look he gives seems to make Tris and the others around me shuffle about in fear. The look he gives makes me feel fluttering in my lower abdomen, like butterflies. I bite my lip to prevent a smile caused by the feeling. I really shouldn't be feeling this right now. I look back down at Chris, who has tears running down her pained face. Around me, Will is tapping his foot worriedly and Tris is clutching Al's hand, who is wiping tears from his face. Chris is struggling now, her hands starting to slip from the slippery metal. I look at Eric, who is watching his watch. He looks up at me, clearly locking gaze. "Time," he calls. Tris, Al, and Will run straight over to Chris, pulling her up to safety. I, however, walk slowly past Eric, keeping eye contact with him, before joining my friends.

"Are you okay?" I ask Chris, who is being held up by Will and Al.

She shakes her head and her legs give in. I rush over and help her stand up again. "Thanks," she mutters.

"Let's get you to the Infirmary," Tris says. I nod, grabbing onto my friend to support her.

From behind us, Eric dismisses the group by saying, "Dauntless never give up."

After the rest of training, we went back to the Infirmary to get Chris. The doctors told her to rest for tonight, so we decided to take her straight back to the dormitory. When we got back to the dorms, the reaction from the others was something I didn't expect. Everyone congratulated Chris. I don't want to sound like an attention seeker, but I feel jealous of Chris for having everyone know that she survived Eric's punishment. Now everyone will know Chris as the girl who hung off the Chasm and survived. I'll still be Eddi and nothing else. I want to be known for doing or being something so that I'm labeled as different from everyone else. That's why I'm so anxious now, because I feel like everyone else, in awe of what Chris has so amazingly done. So as soon as we drop her off, I tell them that I'm going out. I don't tell them anything and leave quickly so that they don't follow me.

I decide to go to the Chasm, seeing as that's where this problem originated. I sit with my legs hanging over the edge, watching the river that runs below. I try not to think so that the tense feeling in the pit of my stomach will disappear, but it's not working. I sigh and continue to watch the river. "Hey, kid." I look up to see the woman who trained us this morning, Abbey. She smiles at me and quickly sits down next to me. "What's up?" she asks.

"Nothing," I mumble.

Abbey sighs, "I thought that you were different, but you're giving me normal girl answers now."

At her comment, I put my head in my hands and sigh, "That's exactly what I don't wanna be!"

Abbey leans over and puts her hand on my shoulder, "It's okay, everything's gonna be, uh, alright, I think. Now, uh, you don't wanna be different or normal. Which is it?"

I half-heartedly laugh at her bad social skills, "I don't wanna be normal."

She nods, "Good… Now, what's up? Clearly your feeling strong emotions about something."

Giving her a confused look because of her odd choice of words, I ask, "Strong emotions?"

"I don't paddle in the emotion pool often; don't need it when I spend most of my time on the fence; I can't tell what you're feeling, but I do know you're feeling something. Now, answer my question, what's up?"

I sigh, "Friends."

"Another area that I don't know that well, but go on…" Abbey admits.

"As I just said, I want to be different. I'm trying my hardest, but it always seems that my friends always stand out more than I do without trying."

"What do they do?"

"Fail in fights and get hung off the Chasm."

Abbey laughs, "Oh yeah, I heard that girl I shot at got hung off here today! Is she your friend? I thought that you were laughing at her this morning."

"Yep, she's my friend. Sorta. She and my other friends have been screwing me over a lot since we transferred."

"Bitches," Abbey cuts in.

I sigh and continue, "She didn't come to see me in the Infirmary when I'd been knocked out by her. And my other friends left Eric to take me to the Infirmary."

"Bitches," she repeats, then asks, "What's wrong with Eric taking you to the Infirmary?"

"The rumors that people-"

I'm cut off by Abbey exclaiming loudly, "Oh my God, it's you. You're the girl who's been shagging Eric."

I glare at her, "No. That's just untrue rumors. I'm not fucking Eric to get higher in the ranks."

She notices my quick, cold tone and shakes her head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I have no brain to mouth filter." She laughs a little, "That's probably why they didn't offer me a leader position when I joined Dauntless at the top of the ranks; I wouldn't be able to keep any of the faction's secrets."

"You transferred to Dauntless?"

"Yeah, was Erudite, got Candor, but thought 'fuck it, I wanna shoot people' and joined Dauntless."

"Really?" I ask, intrigued.

She nods, "Uh huh. My instructors thought that I was gonna fail but I showed them that I was Dauntless."

"Cool," I say, then ask, "So, can you give me any advice on my friends or how to be more different?"

"Well, uh, to be different, I would say be yourself and, uh, don't push away your feelings towards things, 'coz your feelings are what you really feel, not what you think you should feel. For advice on your friends, well, fuck them... Not literally, that wouldn't help at all. Unless you wanna get all kinky with them, then go ahead, it's your choice."

I laugh at little, shaking my head and then admit to her, "Eric said to me the same thing about the rumors being spread."

Abbey's eye flicks to me with interest, "So you and Eric have been talking?"

"Yeah. Only talking, though. He's been giving me extra training in the morning."

"Extra training? You seem pretty good to me."

"It just sorta happened when I went to the training room early," I say, not mentioning that it was on the first day.

"I wonder why he does it; you know why?" she asks.

"No, but I'm grateful," I admit.

Abbey nods, "Yeah, I- What the fuck!" A crushed can flies inches past our faces and tumbles down into the Chasm. The aluminum clinks echo throughout the room, the absence of a splash showing how deep the Chasm really is. Trust the Dauntless to put something terrifying in the middle of their compound. It must have been terrifying for Chris today; something I should have thought when it was happening.

Abbey sighs, "That was probably my friends, they have a weird way of getting my attention. Great talking to you, Eddi." She gets up abruptly and jogs off, leaving me alone again.

* * *

Eric punches me in the gut and I keel over, landing on the soft floor of the leader's training room. "I know who saw us that morning and spread the rumors about you know what," I blurt as if to distract Eric from attacking me.

He pulls me up off the floor and says, "I don't care who saw us."

I put my hands up again and let him throw a punch at me. I manage to dodge it but only just, showing that Eric is by far better than me. But I am getting better, as I am able to dodge the next few punches and throw a punch of my own, which is blocked with ease by Eric. I step back and put my hands up again. "Really? I thought you'd be interested."

Eric pushes me hard and I stumble back. "I'm not interested."

I dodge most of Eric's next punches and manage to block a few, making me quite proud of myself. "I'm going to tell you anyway," I decide out loud.

"No," he growls, "I don't want to know." He grabs and flips me and I end up pinned to the floor, Eric's knee pressed strongly against my back, hurting it slightly.

"It was Tris," I tell him quickly. The pressure on my back increases as he leans in, his breath licking my skin, making it tingle. He stays silent for a moment as if rethinking his words. He leans in even closer so that his lips are almost touching my ear as he whispers, "I'm beginning to detest all of your friends. Good thing we're going to the fence tomorrow, we can push her off. Sound like a good plan, Eddi?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo dudes! Another cliffhanger! Please leave a kudos and whatever the hell the other stuff is. I'd really appreciate you guys leaving a comment, as it would help inspire me to write the next chapter. Drem kos voth hi!


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